Sometimes when we make purchases, they’re not for the fear of missing out or because of a great sale, but to uphold and satisfy our ego. Most people know it as buying or upholding a status, but I’m going to talk specifically about the ego and refer to status purchases as ego objects.
Ego objects are the kind of things we buy to attach ourselves to an identity, and to show that identity off to others. We feed that ego a steady and ever-increasing diet of more, desperate to hide our authentic self. In the end, we believe that the self we are projecting to the world is our truth, and we start living according to the story we tell ourselves and what others say to us as a result.
So what is the ego?
The ego is responsible for how we interact with the world, how we project ourselves, and how we identify. It is the ‘I am’ that dominates our everyday lives. But it isn’t the truth.
Not being aware of our own ego is one of the bigger reasons we experience so much agony when we experience something like a job loss, a divorce, a sudden illness, children flying the nest, or losing our possessions. Our ego identified with that job title, the family role, the health status, or what the objects represented.
When those things are taken away we’re left only with what is; who are we behind the job title, behind the health status, behind the family role, behind the circumstances, behind the objects. We’re left as raw and naked as the day we came to this planet, and that’s where our true selves lie.
We don’t cease to be just because these things are taken away; it’s simply our ego at the time that dies, leaving us temporarily exposed. It’s during these vulnerable moments of self that we can experience the most growth, completely change our life path, or even glimpse snippets of our own truth.
You don’t have to lose everything to experience that, you just have to become aware of the ego and how it’s playing out in your own life.
How I decluttered my own ego
One of the ways I recognised my own ego was when I discovered minimalism and started to declutter my life, getting rid of bags and bags of stuff. The longer and the more I decluttered, the harder the questions I was faced with.
As I decluttered my vast library of books, I realised that the reason I was keeping and displaying them was to project myself as somebody who is smart and well-read, because I was so used to being called stupid. It was the same story with my huge collection of videogames and the related merchandise. Since all of my friends were gamers, it gave me a sense of belonging, so I collected games and figurines to increase this sense of identity. I also didn’t believe I was capable of anything else at the time.
Back then, I also wanted to become a well-known gaming Youtuber like Metal Jesus. But this aspiration was nothing to do with actually enjoying games and my collection, but playing into the identity I was clinging onto.
In reality, my true aspiration, the thing that fulfilled my soul was always and is still all about writing. To not write feels like not breathing. I don’t write to become well-known, but to teach and to help others realise their potential and become the truest version of themselves.
To live my truth has meant letting go of the things in my life that distract and no longer serve me. It has meant letting go of superficial identities and the concept of ‘I am’. Letting go of the status objects and a whole bunch of sentimental belongings helped me to understand that my self was never in the objects and I’d never find true purpose and fulfilment in them.
In turn, this forced me to question other areas of my life where the ego was at play, including how I used social media, and how I interacted with those close to me.
Now, I do my best to interact from my truest self at that moment in time, instead of from the ego.
You are so much more
Despite all that, it’s worth remembering that the ego can be useful. Whenever we put on our professional masks for work, for example, that wouldn’t be possible without the ego. The trick is to know when you’re using the ego and why, and to understand that we are so much more beneath it.
You are so much more than the material stuff this world offers. Much more than the titles given to you, than the roles you play out.
Behind the layers of ego, you have your own purpose. You are nothing but your own precious self who originally came here innocent and blank-slated.
Peel back the expectations, peel back the titles and the possessions and embrace who you really are.
Only then can you discover and truly live your potential.