How to Buy Less Toys More Mindfully This Christmas
With Christmas mere weeks away and the shops bursting with deals, there’s a temptation to splurge on as many gifts as will fit under the tree. That goes double for if you have kids. Then there’s the adverts showing families with glowing smiles in their perfect magical homes which can only be achieved if you buy them the latest toy or gadget.
As we window shop or browse online, we imagine our children’s smiling faces as they tear open their gifts on Christmas morning. As they see the piles of joy waiting for them beneath the tree. We imagine that perfect, curated Christmas that the media and the adverts show.
The reality of toy boxes and cupboards already spilling over vanishes from the mind in the quest of that perfect reaction. As does the reality of the impending financial hangover.
Parental guilt can also add to this seasonal urge to splurge. I know because I’ve done it myself.
I grew up as an only child and remember my own Christmases towering with presents. Every year, I’d excitedly flip through the Argos and Toys R Us catalogues, adding things to Santa’s growing list. When the big day came, I ended up with more toys and gadgets than I knew what to do with. Yet as soon as the January Sales rolled around I wanted nothing more than to go with my parents to check out the toy and stationery aisles. All of that shiny new stuff already forgotten at the bottom of my many toy boxes.
When I had my own children and before I became minimalist, Christmas was a time I knew my bank account would plummet into the minuses. I thought that if my son didn’t have loads of toys to unwrap on the day he’d be disappointed and sad. Maybe even feel unloved.
Of course, marketing played a big role in that belief, as did my own experiences as a child. I wanted my son to feel the same magic, anticipation and excitement that I did. And that would only happen if I got him everything he asked for or had pointed at in the shops.
But as soon as the holidays were over, I realised that he only played with a small handful of the toys he’d received. In fact, most of the time he wanted to make robot costumes out of the cardboard that had come from the big packages.The rest ended up scattered to all corners of the house or forgotten at the bottom of his toy box. I also noticed he became overwhelmed by the time he was halfway through his pile of presents.
It wasn’t until becoming minimalist that I gave Christmas shopping a long, hard look and saw it for what it really was. A huge lie. One of the biggest lies ever told.
“Buy this and they will love you more”
“If you don’t buy this, your family will be sad and disappointed”
“Only by receiving/gifting this will Christmas be magical this year”
“We know that last year sucked, but this year will be the one. The perfect day that you will remember forever. All you need to do is buy this decor, the Barbie Dream House, and the designer cologne”
Not only did I start questioning everything I was thinking of buying, I started paying attention to which toys were played with the most, which were quickly forgotten about, and why. As it turned out, the most-loved things were simple toys which sparked the imagination and could be played with in loads of different ways.
Plastic toys which were single function or which flashed and made a lot of annoying noises were doing nothing but taking up space. These kinds of toys do the imagining for children. They are pure entertainment, and because they have a single function, the interest dies long before the batteries. But I remember my son playing with his wooden train set for years until he outgrew it, and it’s now bringing my young daughter the same amount of joy.
When I do my Christmas shopping for my children now (and even for the adults in my life) I’m much more mindful about the purpose of what I’m buying. Before parting with my money I ask myself:
- How long is the interest for this likely to last?
- Was it something they asked for?
- Is it going to become clutter in a matter of days?
- How much imagination does it spark?
- Is this quality or novelty?
- Is this to compensate for something else?
- Do they already have something similar?
Thinking this way not only means I’m spending far less, but that the presents are well-received and bring them joy over a longer period of time. It also prevents clutter from building up and teaches my children to appreciate the things they do unwrap.
I’m seeing a lot more gratitude now that my children aren’t tearing piles of presents open like a pack of wild animals over a carcass. Who can truly appreciate anything when the mind is preoccupied with ‘What’s the next one?’
More importantly, the best thing we can give our children for Christmas is our time. It wasn’t until my twenties when I lost my nan and my Uncle Gordy that I realised it’s not what surrounds me at Christmas but who.
So don’t fall for marketing this Christmas. Don’t spend more than you can afford. And remember, buying less doesn’t mean you love less.