When life feels like one long to-do list, there’s nothing like retreating to a hobby for fun and relaxation.
But what happens when your hobby becomes one more chore on your list? Sounds strange, right? But that’s exactly what was happening to me, and I didn’t even realise until I finished my activities more stressed than when I’d started.
How my hobbies turned stressful
I love adult colouring. For me, nothing can beat the feeling and the sound of the pencils on the paper, the smell of pencil shavings, and seeing pictures slowly filling with colour. What happened to turn this into a chore?
I joined a bunch of colouring groups on Facebook for some inspiration, followed some colouring channels on Youtube, and all of a sudden my creativity wasn’t good enough. Why couldn’t I be a creative genius too and enchant people with my colouring pages? I started practicing and even bought a few classes, and although my skills improved, colouring started to feel like a chore. Wasn’t it supposed to be a mindful and relaxing activity?
Reading comments on the groups I discovered many others were feeling the same way, and that’s when I realised that my hobby had turned into a chore. After that realisation, not only did I declutter the pencils and books I was steadily amassing, I started colouring again with basic pencils, only coloured when I felt like it, and chose simple pictures that took me back to being a child.
Like magic, the activity became relaxing again.
The same thing happened with my videogames. I’ve always loved gaming since I was 5, enough that I call it a passion. I never get bored of it or feel like I’m wasting my time (but I do have to limit it to prioritise my writing sometimes).
What could possibly turn gaming into a chore, you might be wondering?
Introducing the videogame backlog; a huge collection of games waiting to be played that haven’t been gotten round to yet. This happens because unlike the early 90’s, entire catalogs of games are now available with a single tap of the subscribe button. There’s almost always some kind of digital sale on, and developers tease new, exciting games months and years before release.
Suddenly, instead of my backlog being a few games I couldn’t wait to pick up and play, it had become a monster list of obligations to hurry up and finish so I could mark it as complete. Even if I had the urge to boot up an old favourite, my unplayed games that I’d spent money on would stop me in my tracks.
There’s something called the Zeigarnik effect where incomplete tasks linger in the mind and are recalled with far more detail than tasks that have been completed. It felt like I was always behind with my games and that I was playing catch up. All my unfinished games were always in the back of my mind.
But wait, I never felt this way as a kid! Something had to change.
Just like with adult colouring, gaming was feeling more like a chore. So I’ve recently changed the way I approach my backlog too. Instead of thinking of it like things to tick off when they’re done, I see them as ‘games I’d like to play, but if I never get round to them , that’s okay’. Nothing bad will happen.
I’ve also adopted the practice of regularly culling my wishlist and deleting games I’m no longer invested in or interested in.
How to bring that spark back to your hobbies
If hobbies you once enjoyed are starting to feel more like a slog, asking yourself some simple questions can shine a light on why.
Have my interests changed?
Am I trying to perform or show off to an online audience?
Do I feel like what I’m doing must be done a certain way because that’s how everyone else is doing it?
Am I trying to be perfect?
Do I have too much choice?
Do I have symptoms of depression? (Anhedonia which is a big symptom of depression can make you feel numb and unable to experience joy or pleasure in activities. If this is the case, please see your doctor.)
It can be hard to admit the reasons behind your answers, especially if it’s ego-based like ‘I wanted to be the best in this group’. But once you know the answer, it’s in your power to make those activities fun again and relight the spark you thought it had lost.